Post by Binary on May 21, 2022 3:09:55 GMT -6
FREEDOM NEWS: 11/28/2118
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‘HELIOS TOWER: DETROIT - A NEW HORIZON’ by Andre Smith
Last year, HELIOS Corporation unveiled their newest addition to their fleet of ever-growing Mega-Facility towers, located in Detroit, Columbia Atlantica. Today, it opens it’s doors.
Respectively named ‘HELIA’, Detroit’s new HELIOS facility will allocate thousand of jobs for local citizens, provide an entirely new economic structure to the faltering city, and graciously allow locale full access to the expanding list of services provided by the corporation.
Though still new to the terran formation we call Earth, HELIOS Corporation continues to strive for excellence throughout the world. “Helia isn’t just another Corporate power-act.” States Earth Representative Arya Washington. “With Detroit’s ever-deteriorating economy, HELIOS is excited to spark a new horizon for the city. Our vision is bright. Helia is the future of Detroit, for generations to come.”
‘AN IRISH CARBOMB’ - By Udaya Kieva
After formally declining their existence two years ago, the IRA resurfaced in full face today at 6:47 am, when a hover-car was sent flying into the Europan Embassy located in Dublin, quickly followed by a large, catastrophic explosion via fertilizer bombs.
Though nearly a century and a half since their last public act, the Irish Republican Army took full responsibility for the bombing, claiming it was ‘only the tip of the iceburg.’ The words ‘Free Derry’ have been spray painted all over the city as it plunges itself into chaos. Though unconfirmed, sources claim that the IRA has received ‘sudden and unexpected funding from within the Japanese Federation, allowing them to finally show themselves to the world’. Despite such a brutal action, the Irish people seem to all be gathering, standing up for the movement.
“F****** C**** **** ****** ******* didn’t know what hit ‘em!” Stated an IRA militant after the attack to our reporters. “We’re get those **** ***** ****** ****** ****** *** out of our country, and *** ****** ****** ********* **** **** Britannia!”
‘KANYE WEST TO RELEASE 50TH STUDIO ALBUM’ By Jayne Mcknight
Yeezus just rose again. The ancient Hip-Hop legend, Kanye West, rises from the ashes, making his first appearance in the last two years on InstaNET by posting the album cover to his 50th studio album, ‘YITLER’ with little to no warning.
Regarding the album title, Mr. West commented: “We need to learn and love one another, as love is the strongest emotion that allows us to be better and improve ourselves as human beings” states Kanye. “I just want to profess my love for Hitler, since no one in the world has the guts to do it. He had an entire following dedicated to executing his dreams, and that’s how he was so successful in his career. Liberals and jews can’t bully me for my affection and adoration and expression; every artist and creator should take inspiration from him”
Fans have been anticipating this album for years. His last studio record, ‘Yartin Yuther Ying Yr.’, received critical acclaim from both fans and music critics alike, topping the charts of SpotiNET for nearly 4 years straight. However, this streak is soon to come to an end with the release of ‘YITLER’, to which Kanye claims ‘will make you cum and shit and fart and cum at the same time.’ With Kanye soon to celebrate his 142nd birthday, the world awaits what Yeezus will do next.